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Forums Forums General Discussion .. and danny says, "tim, can’t you see I love you?"

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  • #35576
    Anonymous
    Guest

    the crowd exits the theatre grumbling with distaste. the nightmare before christmas really had been a nightmare. soon, tim burton exits, shaking his head warily. he then sees a streak of red go by. ‘danny’s trying to get away.’ he thinks to himself. he then chases after him and yells, “danny! you ruined my movie!” danny elfman turns around and says, “I”m sorry tim. I don’t know what went wrong.” “I should never have let you write those songs, let alone the score! this collaboration is over!” tim exclaims. “wait, Tim!” danny calls after him. but Tim won’t have any of it. he turns and walks away. danny’s had it. he has to say it, “Tim, can’t you see I love you?” this stops him dead in his tracks, he turns this time. “what?” he asks, mortified. “I love you, tim. I’ve loved you since edward scissorhands. you saw how jealous I was when you were joking with johnny.” Tim couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “but danny, you have children! you were married! what about when you dated caroline?” “I went with caroline to get closer to you. ” Danny replied sadly. then added, “I even slept with lisa.” “you slept with lisa??” tim cried. “my lisa?? that’s why-” he lowered his voice as he saw some of the cast walk by. “-that’s why she left. It’s your fault! you bastad!” “oh tim,” said danny. “i only did it to get her out of the way. but you sly one. helena just fell into your arms, didn’t she? now, I’ll have to take care of her…” Tim was still in shock. “well, now that it’s out, you’ll never get helena away from me. I have to warn her!” “she already knows you slept with that special effects assistant,” danny said with a grin. “but I didn’t sleep- you! you’re ruining my life!” Tim bellowed. “All for love,” danny sang. “I DON’T love you!! I’m straight! I told you that from the beginning!” tim exploded. “I thought you’d come around. someday..” danny said sadly. “Goodbye, danny. I hope that when I see you again, you’ll have come to you senses.” and with that, tim marched away. elfman wouldn’t score ed wood, but would return for mars attacks are straight as an arrow.

    #41617
    Anonymous
    Guest

    That’s some pretty colorful conjecture ya got there, matchy. Too bad this isn’t Reader’s Digest. Buhahahah.

    #41619
    Anonymous
    Guest

    glad you like my allusions, mr. dobbs. I hope people don’t respond poorly to my story. it is just a joke. I’ve had this thought on my mind all day, (seriously, I remember sitting up in bed and asking my friend how pant waste height relates to Dick size, [high pants.. small or large?] after watching the boingo farewell concert.) I don’t want to insult the people of this site, so I go under an alter ego name. of course, the only way to bug these guys is to imitate michal lewis, right? I don’t believe that the nightmare score was bad, (my fav movie in fact!) and also, I just thought it would be funny to answer some of those hand gestures certain red people make..

    -matchy

    #41624
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Match girl – that’s great! I think it’s hilarious, actually. I think a couple of the Elfman groups on Yahoo run story contests from time to time…you should try those out for size…and see how your creation fares! (Incidentally, pant waist heighth? Hm…verry eenteresting…) And btw, I thought the infamous “hand gestures” were one of the video highlights…along with the girl who said “I’m a big girl now…Danny” before the concert footage…I mean, c’mon, that took some nerve! ;)

    #41628
    Anonymous
    Guest

    see, erika knows what I’m talking about! ::gives the air a high-5::

    I don’t think I could enter any of my stories. notice how I move from present progressive to past tense in that story.. my lack of paragraph spacing.. it’s a mess. but one of my friends, sam and I wrote this really great story starring her. i had to cut it off before she got too deep, but she’s written worse!

    whenever I see him doing those “gestures” I always growl, “put your hands on your damn guitar.” except, of course, my favorite, “do you like to romp and play..” heh heh heh. (my friend and I still haven’t decided what the pants’ height could be saying.. could it be so large that it hurts to let dangle.. or so small that it doesn’t matter..? if any boys could clear this up it would give me some sleep!) that girl is not only brave, but a little… odd. remember the question, “what does oingo boingo mean to you?” she says, “oingo boingo means heaven… he’s god.” I’m sorry, uh.. ahem.

    -matchy

    #41636
    Anonymous
    Guest

    The only thing i know about pants is that i wear em, case closed. And no, i don’t get offended by stuff like this. I’m like heavily varnished furniture. I don’t get offended easily. It was funny anyway.

    #41640
    Anonymous
    Guest

    well, mr. dobbs. thanks cuz your opinion means the most to me.. oh and do you wear your pants above or below the waste?

    -matchy

    #41643
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hey, don’t bring me into this!

    #41649
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t think how high a guy wears his pants has anything to do with his size. I think the issue you brought up about support vs. it being too small to matter would more influence what style of underwear a guy chooses to wear (briefs or boxers). Beyond underwear, I don’t think a guy’s size has anything to do with the way he wears his clothing.

    Hope that clears it up. :p

    #41650
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Here’s what I did when I read that:

    1. Leaned into the screen… it’s hard concentrating on this stuff when you’ve got the sentence “I AM NOT CHARLIE BROWN ON ACID” stuck on your brain.
    2. Read.
    3. My head fell back and I started clapping…
    “OH MY GOSH! Get oot of me brain!” clappity clappity clap!

    In essence, THAT’S HILARIOUS.

    -Em
    “I’m irish, ye hear? Now I’m Scottish!” “That’s no Scottish accent — woah, do that Irish one again, that’s sexy!” -Me talking to a kid who doesn’t know what country he’s from.

    #41651
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Oh, and

    PS
    You guys say Danny does hand guestures? Have you NEVER sat and watched Timmy talk? SHEESH! If we chopped his arms off, his little nubs would be rolling around endlessly! He can’t even “Yeah” or “no” without doing some crazy guesture.
    I love that man. :>

    #41652
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Quite frankly, I don’t think pant waist heighth has anything at all to do with it…in fact, I don’t think there’s really any…uh…”determining” factor in terms of size. But, hey, I haven’t taken a lot of time to investigate such matters, because, quite frankly, I don’t really care. Sure the concept itself is really quite funny, but when it comes down to all seriousness, I could care less. I think he did the hand gestures for the adoring audience members…had I been there, I probably would have thrown myself at the stage and only been restrained by brain gravy…but I’m not quite right in the head.

    -Erika

    PS: Speaking of being not quite right in the head, I”ve had an idea for a demented, older-kids oriented animated cartoon series. (Not quite Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim…sort of along the lines of a much more demented “Space Ghost”). Actually, it would be more along the lines of a Monty-Python type of livestock movie (no, not THAT kind of livestock movie!)…it would star vampiric llamas bouncing about on trampolines…not walking, mind you, BOUNCING…kinda like Pepe Le Pew on Looney TUnes…at least that’s how I envision them to look. Anywho, they would make strange “quacking” noises…instead of whatever noise it is that llamas make…every time they hit the trampoline on their bouncing descent, they would make that particular “quacking” noise…and there’d be one that could not bounce anymore, and was just crawling off the edge of the screen to lay down and take a nice nap…but suddenly, you’d see a large cache of about 5 or 6 llamas follow the wounded one off the edge of the screen…and they’re vampiric, and the wounded one would never be seen again…but in the background, you’d hear lots of excited quacking noises, and a faint tinge of red on the returning 5 or 6 llamas teeth…

    On that note, I’m going to go feed my dog and take her for a walk…yes, I know, I’m completely demented.

    #41654
    Anonymous
    Guest

    well, erika, it sounds like a lovely little short toon that could run between hbo flicks. yeah, quality programing right up there with ‘queer duck.’ ha! there is only one thing: are the trampolines really necessary? I mean, they already hop like pepe the pew, who needs that extra boingage? (heh. boingage sounds like a measurement of the amount boingo. ‘dude. the farewell dvd was, like, 3 hours of boingage plus bonus footage. right erika?’)

    you guys are really helping my curious mind with this strange question. it kinda bugs me that the only way to find the size of a boy’s.. self.. is to actually get into his pants. (somehwere inside my mind my inner gutter clown is laughing, “so you gotta open the package to see the present, eh?” I’ll just ignore her and i suggest you all do the same.)

    I just watched Tim Burton’s sound bytes on the Edward Scissorhands DVD.. (oooo isolated soundtrack with elvin commentary.. he get’s mushy.. does anyone know what I’m talking about?) boy, tim burton does do some crazy arm movements, but at least he doesn’t feel himself like *some* red-armpitted representatives…

    the match girl formerly known as lexi: “oh, god!” “yes? did someone call?” “whoa! jesus christ!” “hmm? someone call me?” – a recent converstaion I had, the first talker being a 12-year-old when he dropped his french fries. he was very upset.

    #41655
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Lexi/Matchgirl – Hey, if you’re that desperate to find out the answer, why don’t you just go and ask some guy? (Well, I mean “ask” in the physical sense – literally walk up to him and say “So, uh, I was wondering…”). Well, wait a minute, if you did that, it would probably get taken as an “invitation.” And that may not be something you’d want…I don’t know, because I’m not you (and be glad, for your sake!). Geez, just walking up rather nonchalantly and asking someone was probably something that I would’ve done around the age of 18 or so…alas, in my early 20s, I’m feeling rather inhibited. Well, I think this is just one of those things I’ll chalk up to my own innate weirdness, and the fact that I really do enjoy my time to myself…

    #41659
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Here’s a little trick that you may or may not know about. To consider a guy’s size, just ask to look at his hand. Then you make him spread his hand, and you measure from the pinky to the thumb, and there you go. The same principle can also to apply to a woman’s smile (when considering, nevermind) If this whole thing sounds retarded, well, i heard all this in high school circa 1990, so take it in as you want to. Besides, what does size have anything to do with it anyway? if you start seeing a guy and then over time you wind up in his pants, i don’t think you’re gonna get critical about it at that “moment of clarity.”

    #41661
    Anonymous
    Guest

    http://www.natrebo.com/HBL-Teaser.rm

    You’ll need RealPlayer to see it, but I think it might be worth it.
    It is 1 minute long and the size is 1.5MB (the file, not my… well, you know)

    Erika, let me know what you think. Of the file not my… well, you know. :-)

    Nat who thinks the trampolines are necessary.

    #41662
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Nat – I”m going to have to take a gander at it this evening…my home computer has the necessary plugins, and such. So…I’ll let you know when I do take a peek, okay? (Uh…considering the previous discussion, that didn’t sound so great…that’s not what I meant…wait…well, you know what I meant, and it was in no way related to the previous discussion ;) ).

    The trampolines ARE necessary, because that is how the llamas BOUNCE…and they must bounce in order to make the “quacking” noises. It’s all part of the master plan!

    Yeah…so anyway, the whole “oh you look at this part of someone’s body to figure out the size of their package” ordeal? Nobody but those who are too inhibited to go and find out for themselves actually believes that stuff. Like I said, Lexi, if you really and truly want to find out the answer to that question, just go up to some guy and ask him…it’ll save you the prolonged embarrasment of explanations if he catches you staring at his pant waist heighth ;) In my whole scheme of things, you like some guy, go out a few times, get to know each other, and then when – and if – you do hop in the sack, size really shouldn’t matter. It really shouldn’t matter in any case, because hell, I’m sure there are a lot of complaints that guys have about women…so I suppose it all evens out in the end.

    -E (Talking to people I’ve never met about sex-related issues is rather surreal…not disconcerting, mind you, because it really doesn’t bother me…just surreal and even a bit humorous!)

    #41666
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Yeah it’s funny…didn’t expect to see a sex question prop up in this piece.

    #41670
    Anonymous
    Guest

    sorry, erika. I didn’t realize they couldn’t bounce without the trampoines. or quack. but they could probably still be vampiric llamas. *sniff, I guess.

    well, I do ask people. loads of people. they just don’t seem to know! scores of boys just don’y know! so, how big do ya spose are danny’s hands..?

    moving on…

    Title: pictures of you
    a story by lexi (>) and sam.

    fade in… pan upwards…

    > cue main titles suite 4:08.
    >

    pull back… it is raining…

    > camera continues to sweep back to reveal an ashen
    > shovel lit by a bolt of
    > lightning. another flash and we see the pale face of
    > the darkhaired girl
    > using the shovel. she continues to dig puffing and
    > panting, her glasses
    > sliding down her nose. she strikes something. a
    > coffin. this is a grave.
    > another lightning flash illuminates the grave stone:
    > “Danny Elfman: wrote the
    > theme for the Simpsons.” A Tim Burton Production…

    The girl makes a sound of disgust and frustration and
    kicks at the epitaph. then drops the shovel and takes
    a hammer and chisel, carving away at the quotation on
    the grave stone, and creating her own: “Danny Elfman:
    If the catcher comes to take his soul, he’s gonna have
    to fight him first.”

    >
    > the girl picks up the cold corpse from the coffin
    > and puts him into her wheel
    > barrel. he’s lighter than she expected. “the worms
    > must have already consumed
    > his insides,” she thinks “@!#$. that’s my job.”

    haha. damn worms, they always gotta rush everything. I
    guess I’ll just have to find a way to preserve him.
    His hair looks alright, just needs to be washed.
    That’s a terrible suit though, I’ll have to find one
    like the MIIB one he wore. ahhh…..

    >
    > the girl continues to muse to herself. her
    > excitement grows as she imagines
    > herself first stealing the suit from the MIIB
    > premeir, then actually dressing
    > him in it. She stumbles. The corpses head falls off.
    > “@!#$!” she screams.

    She chases after the head, grumbling and cussing under
    her breath. His eyes are as blank and black as they
    looked in the Little Girls video, she noticed. she
    placed the head ontop of the badly dressed corpse,
    suddenly reminded of Sleepy Hollow. The rain is cold,
    and she hopes the pressure of it won’t make any of his
    skin come off quicker than it should. She didn’t want
    to have to do anymore work than needed.

    > she covers the corpse with a tarp and drags him,
    > though gently, into her
    > truck. she gets in and starts the car. as she
    > driving, she beams at her most
    > obsessed over prize sitting next to her in the
    > passenger seat. using her
    > teeth, she tears open her new ‘good for your soul’
    > CD. she immediately skips
    > the tracks to ‘pictures of you.’ she sings along.
    > then, a low moan comes from
    > the seat next to her..

    at first she mistook the moan as a part of the song
    she overlooked before, though she was unsure how that
    was possible since she always listens intently when it
    comes to that particular song. But when a groan emmits
    from under the tarp she looks over wide eyed as it
    begins to move and sit upright. the truck slammed to a
    halt on the nearly empty road, a surprised shout
    piercing the quiet night. “…when you started to
    laugh, mixing in with the wind, sounding just like a
    scream…”

    > in response to the song, the girl begins to laugh,
    > but she is so overwhelmed
    > with surprise that it would be impossible to
    > distinguish it from a scream.
    > true, her prize had only been buried for eight hours
    > before she had claimed
    > him. but, wouldn’t he have suffocated? ‘perhaps his
    > years of vocalizing has
    > given him the ability to hold his breath for mass
    > amounts of time.’ she
    > thought. then she raised her voice, “uh.. hello? are
    > you alive?” the corpse
    > removes the tarp and turns to her with a grin. she
    > asks, “how do you feel?”
    > he replies, “how do I look?”

    She grinned and turned back towards the road. The rain
    came down like blankets, sounding like fingers
    drumming on a desk as it hit the roof, “Like you could
    use a drink… and a shower.” She started down the
    road again, glancing towards the composer as he
    removed something from under the tarp. It was compact
    breathing equipment.

    That explained how he was able to survive inside such
    a closed space for so long. But what about the thing
    she thought was his head? That question was answered
    as well. It actually was a head, but not his. It
    looked African, somewhat tribal. He caught the look
    she was giving him, and explained.

    “One of my requests after I was dead was to be buried
    with this ancient artifact I collected a few years
    ago. It’s suppose to give the spirit strength after it
    has left the body. Since I am not dead, I don’t think
    it had much of an effect on me, though.”

    >
    > she grins. ‘him and his ju-ju’ she thinks. ‘well,
    > unlike caroline thompson, I
    > can appreciate an interesting hobby.’ she then
    > realizes that this non-corpse
    > riding in her car IS her interesting hobby.
    >
    > “mr. elfman, if you don’t mind me asking, why aren’t
    > you dead? there was a
    > funeral service and everthing. we were all so sad,
    > though sam phipps looked
    > happy as a clam.”
    >
    > “the idea was that I was supposed to be dead. I
    > figure I could restart my
    > career as a screenwriter in another country. sort of
    > have a second life.” ‘or
    > third’ the girl thinks to herself. “now if YOU don’t
    > mind me asking, miss.
    > what were you planning to do with me, seeing as you
    > thought I was dead and
    > all.”

    ‘@!#$’, she thought. ‘I didn’t think I’d have to
    explain myself to him. He does make a point though.’
    She cleared her throat, glancing in the rearview
    mirror, even though she knew there was no one else on
    this road. “Uh, well… I am actually a big fan of
    your work, ever since the early 80s. I couldn’t
    believe it when you were gone. You couldn’t be gone, I
    said. I had to see for myself. And if you actually
    were dead, then uh… I’d keep you.”

    She waited for his reaction. Would he be freaked out,
    flattered, or speechless? It was hard to think that a
    man who had a stuffed cat named Frisky, and a shrunken
    head he named Uncle Billy, would be appalled at her
    actions.

    “I see.” He started, looking away from the window and
    eyeing her curiously. “Well, I’m not dead, as you can
    plainly see. What do you plan on doing with me now?”
    She smiled as they stopped at a seemingly out of place
    stop sign, “Like I said… you need a shower, dead boy.”

    lexi: well, most people call me the hideous penguin boy.. and I’m a girl too!

    #41672
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Here is a story written about one of my stories being made into a movie.

    It stars Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, Jude Law, Johnny Depp, Michael Keaton, and myself.
    It may seem to start out drabby, but it gets funny.
    While you’re at it, you might as well read my OTHER dreams… they’re just as funny :> and most are about either Timmy or Elfman.

    -Em
    “THERE ARE THREE WAYS TO DO THINGS: The good way, the bad way, and the Max Power way.”
    “Isn’t that the same as the bad way?”
    “Yes… except faster.” -Homer and Bartholomew Simpson.

    #41675
    Anonymous
    Guest

    BurtElfDepp – uh, where’s the story?

    #41679
    Anonymous
    Guest

    uh.. let me know when the story shows up, k?

    lexi: young enough to have to her homework now.

    #41696
    Anonymous
    Guest

    It doesn’t really matter. On the side it has a bunch of mixmatch numbers. Click ’em all and you’ll come across a nice lot. They have obvious names like “Dreamtime: Tim Burton” or something.

    -Em
    “I hate to change lanes when I’m driving. That’s more for racecar drivers.” -Marge

    #41704
    Anonymous
    Guest

    well, I’ve given up on this topic, perhaps i’ll create a new topic to plant my seed of evil. bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    lexi: “marge, is lisa at camp granada?” -homer jay simpson

    #41709
    Anonymous
    Guest

    If Danny loves Timmy so much, shouldn’t they have an affair?

    Just a demented thought.

    -Em
    “It’s only a model.” “SHHHHH!” -The Knights of the Round Table

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