- This topic is empty.
- Posts
Is it difficult for anybody else to find a person in a relationship who likes the same things you like? Foe some reason, i can’t find a boyfriend who fully understands my love of danny elfman and tim burton….they just don’t get it! I’m just curious to see if anybody has the same problems as me….or if i just need to look harder….
very annoyed,
xmasgrl83.I wish I could get a boy friend who shared the love of Tim Burton and Danny Elfman…
Alas, no one I meet has a liking for the things I write, either. Damnit.
-Em
“I’m the ghost with the most, babe.”Yeah tell me about it..finding a girl in this town who likes the same stuff is MURDER> It keeps me single. That’s pretty sad…
Hey xmas girl and Em…
Its best if you just get Normal folk and just keep that side of you to yourselves..bringing it out in the open and sharing it only gets your teeth kicked in by someone who really doesn’t give a @!#$, if that IS where you put your souls. And if so, then don’t worry…you’re not alone.perhaps the worst feeling is when someone you’re seeing or hoping to hook up with laughs or gives you that strange look saying “ok…….”. but i guess those are two separate worlds which should never collide, unless it is the highly unlikely circumstance where both parties enjoy elfman’s music.
You could resort to internet dating within these message boards and the yahoo clubs and such.
Be very careful though. Danny attracts quite a few emotionally unhealthy folks.
Suddenly, just when I was losing interest in a few of the threads here, a new twist.
Relationships and Danny Elfman. Lol – well – what can be said?
I’m happily married, and my wife hates most music, including Danny Elfman. I can get into these wondrous moods, and she never gets it.
But heres the thing – it doesn’t affect our relationship at all, Xmas girl
Don’t worry about similar tastes and all other Oprah Winfrey recommendations – just concentrate on how you can be there for your partner – and it’ll be a lot easier.Maybe in the end, they’ll all come round to liking Danny after all. Mind you – I won’t leave *everything* to chance. We just had our first baby – a wee girl – and I’m planning on sneaking headphones into her ears at night – she’ll grow up able to sing every note of all Danny’s albums – what a party trick.
Maybe Danny can start an ‘Agony Aunt’ column for relationship problems caused by a division of opinions over his music.
*Removes tongue from cheek*
Toby.
Ah yes, the joy of NOT finding anybody due to my sparkling personality *grins* No, actually I don’t say much of anything to anybody…except for my professors, which happen to be my main social circle at the moment. These are the people whom I respect the most out of anybody, and I don’t even share the Elfman-obsession with them…at least not anymore. Let’s put it this way: I watched Edward Scissorhands and Black Beauty with a former prof. of mine (from the good ol’ undergrad days), and began to cry like always during those films, and he sat there and laughed (I”m sure it was kind of funny to see someone over the age of 20 sobbing over a movie with horses in it…). He asked if I was sobbing because of the movie, or the music, and when I replied “the music,” he fell on the floor laughing, and to this day, still laughs hysterically whenever he catches me listening to Elfman (or any sort of score music, for that matter). That’s when I learned that I shouldn’t share my Elfmania (or any sort of score and/or classical music obsession) with anybody (except my college band director…), because it only made me even more of a laughingstock and now, people find me to be fairly unapproachable on the subject of music (and some generalize that to just about anything…). And guys…well, they laugh even harder, and then they leave.
Well, I can only speak for myself, but I don’t think I”m all that emotionally “unhealthy.” A bit deranged and lost, yes, but I’m not a homicidal maniac. I think “depressed and antisocial” is about as close as I get to being emotionally unhealthy. I recently shared my Boingo collection with someone at work. He listened to “Helpless,” took one look at me – I was laughing hysterically at that point…the insane carnival music on that song is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard, hands down – and said, “No thanks! Keep your psychosis to yourself!” It’s a weird combination of emotions, you know? The instrumentals are bouncy and border on psychotically fast at times, and it’s got a very unusual combo of instruments (I mean, who else has baliphones and trumpets in the same song?) The lyrics are generally dark and morbid. The coupling of frenetically bouncy music, with lyrics that are anything BUT happy reminds a me of a group of asylum patients with an eclectic collection of instruments during “music therapy” hour…and I, for one, can’t get enough of it!
I”ve come to the conclusion that I’m probably never going to find anybody with whom I’m compatible (not their fault, I”m so weird that I can’t even understand myself half the time), so I might as well just settle for what I get, which isn’t much…
Man, am I ever rambling! Sorry for the extended tirade. Hm…maybe because it’s 8:14 on a Friday night, and I’m sitting at home with my pets…ah, ain’t this the life?
*sits back and laughs* Was I trying to be open on the internet? No. The only guys I can “attract” are these lanky, malnutritioned, Buddy-Holly-looking, trombone players. Why? 1. Because I can make any conversation with them, slang or not. I’ve had my share of the web design, PC games, and math. 2. because I play trombone. And all bass instruments for that fact. Duh.
But even those guys haven’t heard of Elfman. And when I mention Tim Burton, they say “Oh.. Didn’t he do Edward Scissorhands?”
Then on the other hand, anyone knows that the guy I described UP THERE (^^^) knows, and memorizes, Monty Python. Monty Python is our LIFE. We follow them around while writing logic equations and playing Metal Gear Solid 2 on a PC. But even I know that you can love Monty Python, but “Monty Python Sings” just isn’t the best easy-listening stuff in the world. You need someone who can sit beside you and listen to the Sleepy Hollow soundtrack on full-blast while writing a novel on gorey mass murders.But hey, don’t reply to that.
-Em
“I’m the ghost with the most, babe.”I have to agree with Toby.
I’ve dated Elfman fans (here in Southern California, they are a little easier to find) only to realize that was about ALL we had in common. I mean, really, is that all you want to talk about, every day, every time you’re together?
My husband isn’t a fan, but he can’t deny the fact that the man has a lot of talent.
Elfman’s work is so diverse, I think a lot of people can find something they enjoy listening to. If you announce on a first date that this man your date has never heard of is a god to you and you live your life solely to serve him, yeah, he/she may feel a little weirded out. You have to bring the tender lumplings in gradually, know what I mean?-beth
Sounds good…but that’s reality. Gotta settle for somebody who doesn’t have the same things in common with you…@!#$, we’re gonna be single for a LONG TIME. Buckle up.
“The only guys I can “attract” are these lanky, malnutritioned, Buddy-Holly-looking, trombone players.” HEY! Sounds like me! Only I play the clarinet, not trombone.
jesus christ dude…well catch this and flick it out the window : i don’t play any musical instruments, unless you call retarded humming on a harmonica music, and i all i do is draw and write and dream. I’m nothing like Buddy Holly.This isn’t to say i’m as big as Rush Limbaugh, either — i got moves. I’m an idiot. Plain and simple and i’m living in the wrong state, the wrong city, and for all i know, the wrong time. I live in my own head — which some of you can probobly admit to without shame — and this sociopathic trait is due to the fact that i can’t relate to anybody. This isn’t to say im a raving psycho, either. Weepy donuts from Hell, I figure once i lose whatever naivete’ i have left i’m gonna be google-eyed like Cage in that horrible 8MM; non-plussed and nothing to say. Time ticks away, and it’s coming to that, what, with the world turning into a cesspool of immoralities galore — or maybe this is adulthood and i don’t know it, yet; it’ll change me, if it already hasn’t. Conservative Girlfriends i’ve had call me “old,” and they’re probobly right. At 28, i’m my own grandpa.
What the HELL does any of this crap have to do with this topic? We’re a special breed of people…I don’t know why, but if people ridicule stuff like THIS then we must be onto something. Personally, i could give rat’s ass about other people…but all of you girls out there are ok in my book. At least you have your creativity. I admire that. And by the way — if i sound biased, well, so what? Im a guy…and my arrows only shoot in one direction – opposite sex, not same.
Boy, i’m talking alot ain’t i? Love to you all.Dobbs,
that was beautiful. No pun intended. :->
-Em
Well, ain’t we a lively bunch of social butterflies? Ha! Trombone players, good god, you had to mention them! I’ve dated exactly one of those – red hair, and a jazzer to boot – but that was the craziest time I’ve ever had, both good and bad. We just couldn’t relate to each other in terms of music, considering music WAS (probably still is…) his life, and plays a large part in mine. (Ironically enough, he was the one who got me into Elfman, and then it just took off…bona fide obsession, baby!) Not that different musical tastes constituted the reason we split…wow, that would take a long time to explain…but, you know, it was a bone of contention between us…amongst LOTS of other things.
Hell, I live in my own head 90% of my waking day…but I’m a writer as well as a musician, so maybe that explains it…nah, it’s probably just the fact that I’m not quite right in the head… I’ll agree with Em on the idea that it would be great to find some guy who’d actually want to listen to Sleepy Hollow (or any film score for that matter) and talk about literature…or discuss anything OTHER than sports, getting drunk, and sex…but hey, I live in Nebraska (I’ll count myself in for “living in the wrong place” as well), so the likelihood of that happening is about the same as my meeting Elfman and striking up a rousing conversation on Russian Lit. with him. Not gonna happen…but nice to think about!
So you’ve been called “old,” eh Dobbs? I’m not yet 22, but I’m really starting to wish that I was past this stupid, early-to-mid-20s “sheep” mentality that so many of my coworkers and peers have… just so that I could have people stop telling me to “enjoy my youth, go to parties, get drunk and get laid.” Not my style. I’d much rather write and listen to music, watch films and dream about some other place… or have 2 to 3 people over for a nice dinner, watch a couple of movies, talk literature, and that whole scene. Yeah, I think I’m definitely old before my time. Maybe that’s why I have such relationship issues: I don’t really like to go “out” more than once every couple of weeks, and when I do go out, it’s to the local coffee shop by myself. (I think guys are afraid of girls who are by themselves…too unapproachable or something…but that’s okay, because oftentimes, I prefer my own company to anybody else’s). Man, if this is adulthood, I’ve been stuck here since I was 15…eh well, I’m sort of enjoying it.
Dobbs – I seriously doubt you’re an idiot. Idiots just take and don’t give back…they’re human vaccuums, and I’ll be damned if we didn’t have a whole slew of them in Lincoln. Really, though, you’ve picked my spirits up when they were more than a little down – although you probably didn’t realize it – and hell, you even respond to my weirdo posts such as “Notoriety isn’t cool when it’s because of starring in a “love-in-the-meat-freezer porn flick.” Your reasons for answering those, and doing that, are your own…but it seems to me that you’re not quite as “indifferent” as you make yourself out to be. But enough of my psychobabble…that was just my sadly failed attempt at saying “thanks.”
To everybody – And while I’m on the subject, I really wish there were people like you where I lived. What I mean is this: it’s very cool to have people to discuss such a near-and-dear topic with (film scores, and whatever else comes out that’s even remotely related to it), and I appreciate you all listening to my weird rantings.
God, I’m blabbing and getting even less coherent…better go before thing *really* go downhill… (And no, I’m haven’t been drinking, and I don’t do drugs…)
WOW! I didn’t realize how much impact i would have! It really is wonderful to realize that i’m not the only one in this world that feels this strong.At one time i did date a danny guy (sorry i didn’t mention that.) but, he chose eventually to go for what i like to call the “spectical” type of girl…rather then stay with me….the substance. There are many other things i am interested in as well, but this is a big part of who i am.I’m such a emotional complex person, that most guys get freaked out by that.I know it shouldn’t matter what the guy likes as long as i like him……but it’s such a part of what i love,and defines in some ways my heart.His music is how i feel….no i don’t need med’s (ha ha) but i’m such passionate person that it’s just hard to separate the two worlds. I’ve realized over the years that if you don’t understand my music….then you don’t understand me.I’m sure that sounds stupid to most…but it’s true…in my case at least.
By the way, i’m glad i’m not the only one who crys while listening to dannny.This year was a horrible one…..and i’m so glad i had his music to listen too….edward and black beauty are the most angelic pieces of music that i have ever heard in my entire life.I got my parents hooked to listening to Danny’s music for a darkened theatre (Go Me! HA HA).
Long story short, I agree with all of you guys….but i’m a hopeless romantic and and a continual optimist, so maybe one day i will find “the one”…..who knows…..maybe.And i would like to thank you for responding….it really means a lot to me….thanks.
xmasgrl83
p.s.Just for your information i’m from Las Vegas (which is culture and artistic hell!) I’m proud to be from here…i just think maybe that’s a big factor of why i can’t find that artistic individual because they don’t come to vegas to be “inspired”……they go to seattle instead…(ha ha ha)p.s.s. Erika i know how you feel. I’m only 18 and feel like an outsider in my own teenage circle.Imagine being my age and not having a thing in common with any of them.There’s ten people i know…but only three i would ever hang out with…make sense?Oh my god, i rambled on way too long….i think i expressed enough. I’ll shut up know…..
Man, you guys wright a LOT!! lol You think you have it bad where YOU live, you don’t want to know what it’s like to live in the cubical-pig-fart town that I live in. . . I DO live about 200 miles from Seattle, though. Close enough.
Man, I must be the youngest person in here (16)!
So then that makes me the oldest…Well, jesus christ.
Incidentally, this is weird crap but the guy who got me into Elfman was also a redheaded creative person. Weird huh? It’s like Elfman’s got this little society of promotors…
I don’t know what kinda guys you’ve been dating, but as we men get older, our imagination and “hope” starts to slide. Falling for the ol’ T&A is just working off your biological juices just to satisfy them and nothing more..nevermind being happy with a person on the inside, if you can settle for the outside. Most people are pretty ordinary. Which is fine, if you sometimes feel like you’d rather be ordinary and not a mutant of some sort. But to be honest, creative girls like yourselves really turn me on — and i’m not talking about base sexuality, either. Man, i gotta be careful around you guys. You’re makin me sweat people!
More later…i have things to do…Anyway, i figure i might as well give some of this back, since you’ve been nicey nicey enough to write me replies. Hey Erika — yeah i reply to you because you seem open enough, so i figure you make for pretty good conversation. You seem pretty cool to me, and since i don’t get out much that’s saying alot. I’m sure you know that talking to people who are more along the lines of what you’re into is more a breath of fresh air than anything else. Around here, it’s all Latin related, and pop and rap styled, and nobody my age or under (or christ – even OLDER) have the time to appreciate these kinds of things. However, i’ll bet you there’s lots of people who dig on his music — as well as whoever else (i.e- Horner fans) — and they keep it to themselves because it’s either just a fad or they really are into it, but like the rest of us, have no outlet for it…so they go back to their raving and clubbing and stay with the usual crowd.
I’d say you — ANy of you, really — have it better than i do, because the cultural differences are staggering here if you compare Miami to someplace else with a more diverse mix of cultures. But it seems you guys get the same kind of reaction that anyone else would when exposed to it — it’s just too revealing a medium for someone to share. It weirds them out. Now you tell me who’s got a better handle on the human condition. I think all of us at least have a good representation for our emotions that transcends all others.
Nobody i know likes Boingo at all — come to think of it no one even knows who the hell they are or even cares. For me, from the day the “redheaded promotor” passed on the goods up til now, i consider Elfman the backbone of my entire existence. Not that i’m getting totally fanatical, but i’ve used his music as a backdrop more than any other over the years. If i was gonna die, i’d miss his music the most.
Let’s see..what else can i say…?
Hey Xmas, don’t feel too bad…I’m from Vegas myself, and that place is like Heaven to me. The desert is awesome. All i got here is swamp and alligators and West Nile virus. Just keep yourselves optimistic and keep dreaming, because, man…once you lose that, life’s over. That’s the way i see it. Ten years ago i used to keep a MAD diary…wrote in it every day..every night. If i fell for some girl, she was in there. If i had an awesome dream or i had a imaginary fit– i penned it in. Ten years later and i barely write a paragraph. Now i’m on a computer typing disposable words on a screen. Some diary. If anything can suck the life out of creativity it’s technology. The worst conclusion you wanna give yourself in life is “Well, in the end, no one is really gonna read this crap i’m writing unless it has a publisher attached to it.” Believe me. If Edgar Allen Poe somehow got a hold of some wacky Hoboken scientist and time travelled to this age, he’d probobly spend a few bucks on a high class hooker ( i mean cmon — Gstrings, dude…nevermind petticoats) barf at the latest horror releases on video, go back home, and then hang himself, leaving a note taped to his swinging body that reads in BIG LETTERS — “WHAT’S THE F’in POINT, DEAR BOYS?”Oh yeah, and hey Erika — where i’m not perfect to where i’m a giving person to ALL, i DO give to people i admire and respect. That may be construed as not being humane in it’s purest sense, but like i said, i’m not perfect and if you can’t relate to most people…you know– Keep to yourself. Life sucks.
Write back!!!!Erika, don’t be so hard on yourself! How corny this might sound, there’s somebody for everybody.
Erika,
I met my husband while I was sitting alone at a coffee shop. But we lived together for over five years before taking the plunge. A lot of my friends were married by 22, 23, and thought I was stupid for settling for “playing house,” but that’s the way I wanted it. I was very cynical about relationships. Sounds to me like you are enjoying your youth; writing and listening to music, watching films and dreaming about some other place…(and getting an education)! Who says that because your not doing what they’re doing means your not having fun. I’ve never met a drunk partier who was any happier than the rest of us, just really numb to everything around them.Anyway, I don’t think it’s nerdy to be interested in things that carry us out of “mainstream” unconsciousness.
I just wanted to clarify that I was NOT talking about anyone who has posted in this thread when I said Elfman can attract some emotionally unhealthy folks. I really don’t know any of you. I have had some interesting run-ins though.
And I’m going to have to combine both camps of thought here. When you’re looking for that someone special, don’t limit yourself just to Elfman fans. If the person is right for you, they’ll love you for loving what you love, even if they don’t have the same feeling about it themselves. On the other hand, don’t fall for someone just because they’r an Elfman fan. That’s not a very solid foundation to base a relationship on.
If you’re looking for common ground, make sure you’re common ground is the big stuff like your philosophies on relationships, how to raise the kids you might have one day, faith, your concepts of good and evil… stuff like that.
So what if he can’t understand why you have to have 30 mins a day to yourself to listen to Elfman. It’s just a trade off for the fact that you won’t be able to understnd how he can spend 45 mins. sitting on the toilet in that stench he’s created and still be able to make sense of the newspaper he’s reading in there.
OR just chuck it all and adopt my philosophy. Romantic love does not exist, so why bother.
Yeah, I’d have to agree with Pammy that “romantic love does not exist, so why bother.” In my pathetically few experiences, I find that there’s undeniable lust, and friend-type relationships…if the two happen to combine in one person, well, then, you’ve got yourself a fairly long-standing relationship. However, I am convinced that if you base a relationship on one common interest, and that one thing alone is what makes you want to date that person, that such a relationship is destined to fail. Your basic personalities have to be compatible, and well…lots of other things, to actually have something that has even a ghost of a chance of actually working out. I’ve found that it’s the smallest things – you know, the ones you gloss over when first appraising that girl or guy across the room – that get in the way, and ultimately lead to the downfall of couples. I really enjoyed having a guy roommate during college – FYI, we were strictly platonic. So, when I moved in with the redheaded trombonist for a very short period of time, I figured it wouldn’t be any different…well, with obvious benefits. No so, not so! Man, it really was the smallest things that were the undoing of that little failed experiment of mine…
Normal people just don’t get me – and vice versa (you know, the ones who go to parties, get drunk, sleep with some person viewed with the no-fail aid of beer goggles, and insist they’re having the time of their lives…at least where I live, that’s normal). I really dig creative guys – I don’t really have a specific “type,” just some guy who is relatively open to accepting my weirdness, and has a macabre sense of humor (because then he’s less likely to be scared by mine). I’m really not all that choosey…it’s not like I base my attractions on body type, height (I always misspell that word!), or really any other physical characteristics…my reasoning: hey, we’re born looking like this and there’s not a whole lot you can do to change that – excluding plastic surgery – so who am I to be arrogant and assume that only “physically attractive” people are good enough to warrant my affection? (Although I can’t help but be a bit partial to redheads…) That’s not to say that I’m attracted to each and every guy out there; that’s hardly the case. But it’s not like I have a rigidly preset “formula” for the next guy I want to date (6’1″ with black hair, 3 rows of teeth, taxidermist, and has a 5-legged, 3-eared dog named “Kitty”…*sniff*…I’ve given up on that dream!)…I’ll just take that when, and if ever, it comes.
I don’t know anybody who knows -god forbid, likes – Boingo and Elfman. I’m not a raving obsessed fan, it just speaks volumes to me…and that’s something that very few things, let alone people, can do. (Nabokov’s literature is second even to Elfman’s music…Nabokov, my original obsession). But you all know what I meant by that…
Thanks, all, for the nice fuzzy comments…now you know we really do have to stop this, and get back to the real business of being obsessed with the Elf and bashing all other composers. (JUST KIDDING…REALLY! By the way, thank you Michael Lewis for your nice comment; I really did appreciate it). No, seriously, I do appreciate the support…and the fact that many of you know what it’s like. Good advice and comments, all…
Journals…I don’t keep a “journal” per se, but just write a crapload of stories, incorporating my feelings into all the characters, plots, etc. Basically, each of my stories is a very personal look into my own life, feelings, etc. You’d probably get a better idea of who I am through reading my work, rather than reading the sh*t that I subject you to here. However, and this is totally off-topic, I wrote a short story on a girl who was a victim of incest for my senior project for my bachelor’s, and the department head suggested that I go into counseling for post-traumatic stress (he thought that I was a victim of incest, and was getting my repressed feelings out in story form). Man, that took some explaining. I lost count of how many times I had to explain that I am not a victim of any type of abuse…incest, rape or otherwise. Nobody loves anything more than a good, juicy look into familial sex issues, and he thought he was being helpful, but the reason that everybody in the department read it was because it was on a taboo topic. They thought they were gonna get some graphic description in there, but to no avail (nope, I’m definitely not Nora Roberts or Danielle Steele…I may write about taboo topics, but I’ll leave the graphic images up to the reader). That was completely unrelated…sorry…
Later…keep the faith…
Erika,
Do you keep an on-line journal? If so I’ll swap you links.First of all, I don’t read online journals anymore. I had a really good friend who acted like a Mini Bigglesworth to me (inside joke right there) and when I read her online diary… It was how to have good sex with a nerd by hand cuffing him to a bed, stick cherries in his mouth, and wrap him in fishing net.
Second, I am not about to mention my age. People get angered at me and then I’m doomed. I wouldn’t watch my reputation WAFT and FROLICK (joke) alone like that….
Third, when I went over to London on the QE2 with Neil Innes and John Cleese — I saw a stage hand on the boat that was a perfect clone of Elfman. Young Elfman, anyway. Skinny, bright red hair, that stare that would make you want to melt (in either situation) and a voice… Alas, I only saw him twice. Once, when he was putting out a chair for John Cleese and the QE2 director, and another time in Southampton when he said “Excuse me” and ran into a DJ room to get microphone stands for the actors onboard.
Four, this one is more or less to xmasgirl, who was talking about being a complex thinking induvidual. I am nevertheless the same; some strange girl who doesn’t know what “reality” is. (What is that, anyway?) I live in my mind. My mind consists of four places: 1. London 2. New England in the late 1700s/early 1800s 3. In a symphony, both watching and playing. and 4. In the cemetery at Halloween Town, deeply thinking and being melancholy. This leads to one thing: people are total arseholes. Unless you’re skinny with “big tracts of land”, guys look at you and say “ew.” At least concerning dating. Girls think the same way. Unless you dress like them and talk like them, you’re an idiot. I fit in neither categories; but there are always the abnormal people who actually take the time to meet me and say, ‘hey, that girl is awesome. She’s funny, creative, messed up in the mind, and she can draw like hell’s on loose.’ Alas, even those people only bare me because I wear cool hats and my name only consists of two letters.
My point is, I am on the Burton Collective under the name of “Wilhelm von Buren.” I act like Ichabod Crane, and I write and draw things from that period. I always get other girls messaging me and saying, “Oh, I have always wanted to meet someone like you…” And I do too!, a German man from the 1800s. Trust me, I do. But isn’t that pretty sad, how no one like these fantasy people from movies exists? Like Constable or Scissorhands or Jack Skellington. Thus, my name only reflects a character in my story.Erika- there aren’t many chances of me meeting an Elfman fan either; at least not in Orlando, Florida.
-Em
“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire a Public Relations writer.” ~Boorstin
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.